career and life

1) I had a great year, scientifically speaking. I got 4 publications; 3 with my postdoc and 1 with a collaborator. I got a 5 out of 5 rating and a cash bonus.

2) I decided not to apply for the Research Leader job as it would drive me crazy and/or kill me. I'm dealing with the angst of dealing with others' expectations concerning my decision not to apply. Yes, I would make a good RL. Yes, I think people would be, overall, satisifed with my leadership. Yes, I can motivate people. Yes, I can make the tough decisions. The time is not right. No, I can not work for the current management team. Sorry.

3) I'm feeling like I should have been more authoritarian with my postdoc who finishes up this month. However, I can only lead to water, not make him drink. Finit.

4) I've been a funk for a few weeks or months. Unmotivated. Headachy. Blah. Body aches.

5) I think I need more structure - not subject to changes.
5a. One important one is having a day to myself. I really need the time to think, to ponder, to observe, to be with myself.
5b. One is sharing supper with Alexa- maybe only on Tuesdays and Fridays. Most other times, I'm having a bowl of soup or a sandwich or a bowl of cereal. Not really cooking. Not feeling like cooking after work.
5c. Another is exercise. Gotta get back into the gym. Seriously. Regularly. Not dependent on another's availability.
5d. Having one work day a week for home improvement projects except for emergency repairs etc.

6. My neck has been crackly. Pop.

7. No number 7 today.

8. Not having internet at the house means going to the coffee store or the library. It's okay. Not spending $40 is good too.

9. Thinking about getting rid of maid service. Monthly it's $70. The reasons for maid service don't exist now. I can get down and get the wood floors and use a swifter to get cobwebs. I have a lot more time now than I did when I was a workaholic.

10. I sold my telly and the old tivo for $10 at the garage sale. Now to find a work of art to place where they were on the built-in bookshelf.

11. I'm currently reading Patterson books. They're interesting for the most part.

12. Insurance premiums are going up 7.5% in 2011.

13. I have to go to the dentist for my tooth which is painful consistently now. I think I broke it on a nut two weeks ago.

14. Autumn is one of my favorite seasons along with Winter, Spring and Summer.

(no subject)

I'm feeling unaccountably sad today.

I started taking a different anti-inflammatory temporarily while my back gets over the big squeeze. I successfully avoided a spasm by going to the firstcare to see our osha doc who gave me a muscle relaxer until could see PCP who then extended the meds. So I'm also taking a "new" muscle relaxer I've never taken before. It's warning label includes "seeing things that aren't there" - seriously. WTH? This is in addition to my RA drugs. Doc says the muscles are reacting to a flare-up in my ilia-sacral joint (?) to protect it. Great. In other health news, I'm doing wonderful.

Alexa is fantastic. The second set of epidural steroid shots quieted the disks and nerves. She is going back to work after they modify her workstation. She qualified for both short term and longterm disability insurance so the financial situation is not dire, only troubling. Insurance kicked in after she reached her deductible as well. She has started working out on weights with her physical therapist. Did you know that if you and I go into the hospital for the same procedure; the bills will be different depending on our individual insurance coverage? Interesting.

Work is chugging along. I'm up for the periodic research career review and if I score high enough, I'll get "reclassified" i.e. promoted. I got enough stuff so I'm feeling confident. Because the acting RL assignment last 120 days (25% of my time), I can claim it as one of ten accomplishments if I so desire. I may, but I may not need it there. I can record it under "additional information."

Up next: MYSTERY CUCURBITS revealed.

Well, the vines are dying back so I'm harvesting. I'll have to cut into them and maybe taste.

Hail Tamar!

created sky goddess
capturing morning star
taming the serpent
bridled in gold
summoning protective forces
binding the winter snows
source of endless summer

I will miss your gentle ways.

garden and travel odds n ends

Planted fall greens (lettuce, spinach, kale) and root crops (beets, carrots) before I went to Boston. Alexa was conscientious about watering the seeds and now we have beet greens popping up. Gonna pull the squash that hasn't fruited. Drying herbs: sage, thyme, oregano, mint, lemon balm. The mystery cucurbit is still full of mystery. The first fruit looked like a pumpkin before dying. The second fruit looks gourdy with green and white stripes and is huge (tentatively identified as a zucca napoli). The third fruit on the same vine looks like a trombomillii(sp?). On a separate vine, what we thought was a cucumber is the shape of a pear and is fuzzy. ?Quien sabe?

The lemon tree is BEARING! Yes, the green fruit which has been there for (it seems like) a year has turned yellow! The first lemon dropped and was a bit bitter. Been watering frequently through the development so have high hopes.

Picked up tea. Jasmine. Jade Dragon. Ayuvedic chai. Macha.

Nor'easter blew in Boston and we had 4 days of rain so my doorway of boston picture post blew up from lack of photos.

I'm tired. Need sleep.

Boston II

Boston is treating me mostly right. Mostly. I don't have any pictures because it's been raining for 3 days with a N'easter storm. Should clear up tonight. Hoping to take come pictures or the architecture that is astounding. I'm starting to feel a bit ill even though I'm shielding, balancing my energy and not going wild with running to and fro to make individual presentations. I'm thinking it might have to do with the environment - many, many people from all over the US (handshaking, hugging and kissing) and the city polluted air. I've been fastidious about hand washing and keeping my nose clean. It's approaching OCD, methinks. I did get fresh fruit, cheese, and crackers from Trader Joe's.

I found a fresh juice place that makes green juice: kale-spinach-romaine-lemon as well as apple-carrot-ginger; my two favorites. It's a relief from all the supposedly healthy "smoothies" which are anything but healthy or smooth. I also found a store, Teavana, that has a good selection of tea including macha (imperial tea) for a hefty price. I'll probably splurge. I'm running out of my "fresh" origin-specific tea from Japan and Taiwan that were gifts from colleagues.

Las Tres Amigas, Jetty, Kim and I, went to a comedy club at Harvard on Sunday night. We took the "T" as an experiment but cabbed it home. The lineup was funny but loaded with Boston humor. We were slightly late - and the MC called us the camp counselors. We just happened to be dressed in polos, shorts, and sandals. We were also prolly twice as old as most of the patrons. It was funny as the comedians worked us into the routine.

I've been looking at pictures that people have been taking of me and my friends. I am fat. I must do something as while I might channel Mother Goddess(es), I don't want to look like them. NO offense intended.

Well, it's time to head to session.


is a fine old town. The meeting is going well in its first day. I am practicing self-care as well. Fruit and decaf for breakfast. Light workout and jacuzzi last night after plane ride. Feeling good. I love chemists!

Started taking a probiotic and a folic acid supplement along with multi, super B, C, and Calcium with D. Also been taking sun baths - nude in my back yard. working good. Nothing like that here in Boston though. Found a Trader Joe's in the basement of the building across the street from the hotel. Will stock up and good foods. I should be able to limit my sugar/carb intake. Not stressing about it.

I'll try to post a little bit more since I have free wifi access in the hotel.