oh great. my hair is falling out.

It's a side effect of the medication which affects the "fast growing cells" in the body.

Fashionable hats. Deltan head bands. Or maybe I'll go with buddhist chic.

So, there I was. Thinking about greenhouses. Getting upset because the big project would 1) look like crap and 2) be horribly expensive and 3) I might not use as much as I think. Four season harvest not so good last year. This year, slightly better in the Fall. But what about winter? So Plan B. Getting glass windows for my raised bed to form a greenhouse. Where to get windows? Freecycle. No luck. Enter the crappy (and I do mean crappy) basement. My beautiful basement causes me so much trouble. I get that cleaned up. Thank you to friends who know friends who have mega- wet vacuum with outside exhaust hose to get the water OUT, out of the basement (and into the garden). Thanks to plumbers named Mark and Kyle (and their apprentice James). Now my back hurts and I have to take a muscle relaxer. Anyway, so I'm carrying up more leftover stuff (my stuff is stuff - your stuff is shit *g. carlin*) to get the wood scraps, copper pipe, old galvanized steel vent, and other leftover construction shit out of the basement area to facilitate drying when I find a plethora of screens and old aluminum single plane glass and plexiglass windows. None of them fit my (newish) windows so I assume they are leftover from the previous owners. Freecycle, here I come! Somebody who needs these exact size storm windows before the winter scores! Except for saving two or three of the big 3' by 4' (estimated) windows for greenhouse covers. How cool is that?

Today, I have to call the sanitary district so they can check their end of this thing. I need to spray bleach on the floor (tile or concrete) and along the baseboards. I'll have to pull off the wainscotting and check the drywall for mold/mildew and to let it dry. The dehumidifier is running nonstop. The fans are moving air through the basement.

At work, it is evaluation time. Stress. What did I do over the past year? What are my goals for this year? How did my people do?

It's also time to write my five year plan for research which is incorporated into the National Program. Can I project what will happen in 5 years? or 3? or 1? Sure, in my fantasy world where I always prove my hypotheses, the data form straight lines of correlation with R=0.9999 and equipment never breaks.

My hands. My arthritis is manageable. The bloodwork is normal. So Why Do My Hands Still HURT?? How about 10 years of typing? In 9 years, I've written over 50 manuscripts. I spend 60% of my time working on the computer. Repetitive Strain Injury. The solution? STOP typing. I'll see what I can do. I'm going for nerve conduction tests once I see Doc. I obtained the voice recognition software at work and am practicing dictation. It's different to say words I think versus type them. The lag period to hands allow for on-the-spot editing while voice does not. Work will be supportive. I need to pump out all my writing projects before T-day so I can rest over December and January for therapy etc.

Whoops...big update. Need to head to work.

A poem from my childhood

When all the cows were sleeping
And the sun had gone to bed,
Up jumped the pumpkin,
And this is what he said:

I'm a dingle dangle pumpkin
With a flippy floppy hat.
I can shake my stem like this,
And shake my vine like that.

Okay. Just...creepy.
******

This pumpkin made three dishes: salty roasted seeds, pumpkin tort, and challah bread.

( Yummy pumpkin challah bread )
beautiful egg-washed loaf of pumpkin challah bread - subtly pumpkin with ginger & cloves

I refilled my meds today. The pharmacy did not have enough pills of my MTX and gave me six only - one dose for this week. They will have the full prescription by Friday. They did not charge me for the meds. I tried to go without tramadol today and felt nauseous, dizzy and achy. Since this thing started back in October, I haven't really felt "right." My training sessions gave me a boost and a distraction to the overwhelming fatigue. I could close my eyes at any time and nod off to an unrestful sleep. My left hand is now painful to go with my right. I am no longer assymetric. I guess I'll call the doctors again since I can barely move my hands in the morning after a painful night. I have no grip strength and can't twist things. I've been wearing my braces to no discernable benefit.

I spent the weekend cooking. Pumpkin challah bread. Pumpkin souffle. Italian ragout. Pasta.

( tomato & herb goodness )

I took DitL pictures of the bread making from pumpkin to loaf. I'll post later.

I've turned the furnace on. I wanted to leave it off, conserving energy, but it's too cold at 60F for me. My joints rebel. I set it at 65 when I'm in the house and programmed to hold at a lower temperature when I'm at work. I need the heat when I sleep or my hands go all crampy even with gloves.

For your listening pleasure (no vid)
Breathe by Abney Park



Item: I lost my silver vocation ring while in the desert southwest. The one engraved with "Mind Body Spirit Peace Love." It wasn't expensive (circa $5) but I've worn it ever since I professed monastic vows a few years ago. I think I left it in Tucson as I didn't have it in NM.

Item: I've maintained my weight loss while on the trip. From limited data, it's not so much what I eat as how much I exercise. Not that I'm pigging out on doublecheezbrgrs and cupcakes in the future.

Item: I didn't have a mental meltdown (yet!) after the trip in part to being able to take personal time at the end of the trip. I'm feeling antsy to get back to work which is a good sign.

Item: The basement lived up to its reputation by flooding in the back corner during a heavy rain yesterday. It looks like it was a misplaced gutter on the corner. La and I took the baseboards off to dry the wall. Called J.u.l.i.e. to get a survey of the underground utilities along the house to see about some type of drainage system away from the foundation.

Item: Replacing & reorganizing the gas lines in the utility room and in the laundry room cost about $400 but now I am safe from "years of gas leakage behind the wall." The tech showed me the dryer fitting and it was loose, black and corroded. Serendipity that the heating/cooling guy came in to service the unit right after I return from a trip so that the house was closed up so the "smell" was present.

Item: Is it worth the focus factor to drink a bit of caffeine (20 oz coffee) to get the concentration & appetite reduction but then I must have caffeine every day or else suffer migrainey withdrawal headache by 3 pm?

Item: I am harvesting & saving seeds right now from the heirlooms.

Item: My hands really hurt and the pain goes up to my elbows. I'm wearing my wrist guards (CTS). My blood work shows the inflammation factors in my body are normal (high, but normal), but my fingers/wrists and now elbows are painful - tender to touch as well.

Item: While in ABQ, I made a spontaneous stop at a local massage/spa office in the Gallerie (sp?) and had an absolutely wonderful massage. My therapist used energy techniques while doing some very gentle trigger point relief for my neck & shoulders. We actually harmonized with the music playing...tonal, rythm, breath, etc. It was incredibly relaxing. I need to find someone practicing that technique/style here in PIA.

Item: I made it to the Farmer's market today to say "warm winter!" to my farmer friends. Sad. Inevitable. I picked up a perfect personal pie pumpkin for some tasty pumpkin challah bread and assorted autumn treats.

Item: I really need to clean my home office and organize the office closet.

Item: There was a house on 2 acres (about 1 acre pasture) about 20 minutes from PIA for auction today. Might have been worthwhile to bid but it was located between two fields...chemical drift would be a problem.

Item: Procrastination is the bane of my existence. Why do I do it? I'll think about it tomorrow or the next day.

Item: I have one candle in the yoga room that refuse to keep its wick lit for more than a few minutes.

Item: The neighbor's black lab has taken to whining when let out into the back yard located next to my bedroom window.

Item: I love strawberry jam.

Item: I am content with all that I have. Thank you.

Well, my lower back feels like hot steel. Looks like a calm day instead of energetic hiking. Sit out by the pool. It's cool but warm in the sun. Still have to take a plane tomorrow. A bit of yoga and gentle stretching.

Edit: 5:00 pm
An ice pack. Cat & Cow & downward facing dog. Icy hot rub. Ahhhhhh.

I'm blessed with mixed texture of hair. I have incredibly fine, straight hair up top and thick, curly hair in back. I regularly use "product" to style my hair. I try to cut down on the use of packaged goods in my life...so....here goes. For the next couple of weeks, I am going to try styling my hair, which, honestly, just means squeezing out some product and tossling my hair and letting it dry naturally, with aloe vera gel instead of product. I saw a DIY post using gelatin (jello) which is an animal protein. Aloe is predominantly composed of a hydrated polysaccharide (carbohydrate) called glucomannan (hey, I work with plant polymers!). They have similar gelling properties. Most hair products use glycerin or silcone that both "gel". Gels are mostly hydrated molecules i.e. 1-5% solid and the rest is water. OMG! Science!! I'll post pictures unless they are too hideous (I do have an ego problem, ayup). To those that wonder why I do not just go au natural, see aforementioned ego problem - I would have a roman ala julius caesar hair style and I just can't go there. trust me.

Michael Pollan had an interesting article in the NY Times. I think my nutritional health plan can be summed up by the end of the article:

Cook it yourself. That’s it. Eat anything you want — just as long as you’re willing to cook it yourself.

Whole wheat pasta, parmesan cheese, green beans, tomatoes, oregano, and basil:

A lot of TMI health news under the cut. Squickky.

Give me ten more crunches!!
( Good News )
Give me ten more crunches!
( Bad News )
Still taking tramadol and piroxicam and my vitamins (multi with Fe, B with folic, C, Ca with D) and probiotic.

I let Rh know that I am going to China next month. It changed his treatment plan. Ah, the joys of a compromised immune system!

Overall, though, I feel pretty good. I'm doing what I am able to do and making progress.

I awoke at 5:30 am, stretched, took my meds and then felt dizzy and lay down again for 2 hours in a whirling, floating daze.

whoa.

Today, I had a breakthrough.
( and I cried )
Money well spent.

Solstice!!

First thing in the morning, I'll head up to the Monastery and the good Sisters of Benedict. We are working at a Habitat for Humanity house - putting in a small vegetable garden. I turn the phone off and may not blog until Sunday night. I'll take the camera for some pictures.

Have a great Solstice!

It's going well.

I've lost another 2lbs so 5 total in 3 weeks

( nutrition )
This week is putting in exercise routines for: gym, home, travel.

It's been a good one!
( details below )

Crookedly: that's a good word.

to quote dani_namaste

OMG TIRED ME GO BOOM NOW

I've been enjoying a good read about TEA. Some interesting and not so interesting bits of information about TEA:

Green tea can be steeped several times. Each successive pot has a different concentration and combination of polyphenols/antioxidants (& amino acids) that change the flavor character of the tea.

Green tea, after sitting for a while after brewed will lose its delicate green color and turn golden brown; the result of oxidation. The diversity of flavor is remarkable.

Tea, especially green tea, can be used as a flavor enhancer in foods.

Tea has been the subject of much political strife.

Tea is being cultured in South Carolina.

Tea was first cultivated becuase of its stimulatant effect and astringent qualities.

Tea drinking and sharing is very ritualized and has its own spiritual following in several areas of the world.

***
Tea is my new passion.

I love the local farmer's market - only local produce, mostly organic!

Today's treasures:

romaine lettuce
red lettuce
kale
fresh mozzarella
string cheese
wild strawberries
organic whole grain boule

local pork chops - grass fed

The Pottsdown Meat Shoppe in the Metro Center whre I get my amish chicken is having a festival of local products - cheese, noodles, sweets, etc. They roasted a whole hog and were pulling it off as we were leaving. Tasty!!!

Edit: 12:23 pm: Courtesy of freecycle I got transplants of marjoram, two indeterminate tomatoes, and some raspberry canes!!!!

I can meet my goal of the 100 mile diet from June to November. I am getting better at four season harvest so I might be able to still get herbs, greens, a root veggies from the garden this year.

The wellness people were there, and I had my blood pressure checked - 115/75...It had been running 130/90 so I'm feeling good about the first week of "training."

Personal Trainer? Yes, therapy is working. I realize that, right now, I need help to achieve and experience a more healthy lifestyle.

( Aha! Why not use this now? )

I'm going to lj-cut future entries under the subject of "PT: *insert blah*" to spare my friends the outpouring as I rant, rage, accept, believe, and accomplish.

through my thoughts
through my emotions
through my actions
experience my divinity
experience my humanity

Mindfully. Peacefully.

( the progress report )

I'm satisfied.