I am a genius.

True Story.

A large(r) tree branch was ripped off my silver maple in the backyard and fell into the garden last night. It broke my sunflowers, about half the tomato plants and knocked over the bean tripods. I'm still cutting it away. No major damage to the fencing or anything else.

The storms with high winds bring a lot of the deadwood out of the trees as well. The neighbor and I talked about going in on a tree cutting service to trim up the trees or maybe remove them before they do major damage to our houses. Several years ago, the homeowners association organize a neighborhood discount twice: 1) after a major ice storm brought a bunch of trees down and 2) when a 'drought' killed a bunch of trees. It would help.

Much gratitude to aisa0, yarrowcat, and selkiechick for their advice and discussion. I decided not to adopt the banties because I am not ready for the responsibility nor do the ordinances allow for "farm animals" in residential neighborhoods.

I saw a posting for 27 acres of land about 45 minutes away for about $3K/acre. It is landlocked from a subdivided parcel. I have Laura, my real estate agent, checking into the other (smaller) parcels or acquiring perpetual easement in order to get to the parcel. One day.

I'm in a funk at work because everything is going too well. I know. I know. I'm whining because there is nothing to whine about. Sheesh. I need a hobby other than whining.

Oh wait...

I'm sitting here sipping on a guinness. makes you strong. good for what ails ye. even toucans love guinness. lovely day for a guinness. ++++>insert your own guinness motto here<++++

Was sitting outside to watch storm blow in. Fast moving low clouds brought blowing rain so Tigger the Cat demanded we go inside so as to not get any wetter. She's like that. Went inside. Sat down on couch to watch. Big branch (5 inch diameter) from silver maple tree broke and flew into the picture window. No damage. It hit and then bounced off the lie on/over the front deck. We had just been sitting there. Partial lyrics of a song on the internet jukebox: "Is it raining on you now?" Wow.

Edit: July 30 (the morning after)

She had everything to live for and nothing to die for so she refused to play in some sort of contrived symphony designed not for humanity but for the amusement of the gods in a stone temple carved from barren rock to house some dismal eternity in which fake luminosity emanated in imminent fury while the wind whipped through the empty corridors to scatter dust and ash from the fire that burned in her heart so frozen so dead that the wolf howl echoed in abandoned fury pliant under the full moon set up in the night sky in curved antiquity set in a cycle that slowly lengthens every second and provides some small measure of certainty in an uncertain world where people pretend that something anything matters and that god is not dead at least until she gets what she wants or most desires even if she doesn't know what it is or can't share the consequence of her desire because it is just too much although flowers still bloom and the small butterfly wafts and wings its way over the fence not knowing what is on the other side but some dreary flower drooping from thirst and being so dependent on the earth for sustenance while the grit settles in copper urns filled with the remnants of some historical farce written by victors and not the victims in some baleful comedy that goes on and on and on as the sun rises yet again moving across the sky in a golden arc of misery and seduction as trees rise up to greet the energy resisting the pull of gravity as she lays by the crown weighing so heavily and so irresponsibly on those that do not deserve it do any of us deserve it she wonders but why not she deserves some happiness even if it is manufactured by those who see everything as a commodity everything striking down with awe as she escapes escapes into a secure fantasy world constructed just for her just for her just for her

Not possible!!!!!!

So, revised goal:

Sort through every item of clothing (well over 300 items) and get rid of anything I haven't worn in a year. Closet is done - mostly work clothes.

Items so far to freecycle: 27

Exceptions:
College Varsity Letter Jacket
Little black gucci dress (for formal occasions when a black cocktail dress and pearls are indicated)

Currently sorting through t-shirts and play clothes.

I'll report back as a percentage of my clothing when I finish later this afternoon.

My starting point with obligatory supervision by resident feline:

( The pile )

I started listing all my stuff in order to have some data. I don't see how this is doable. Guy Named Dave is smoking something. It must be nice to eliminate all the "family" stuff that you use anyway in this challenge, Dave. I have over 75 things in furnishings alone including artwork, 25 for the yard & garden, and 50 individual dishes/pots/kitchen items etc. For "personal" stuff (as defined by Dave), I may be able to do it. I have over 150 clothing items, 100 books, and plenty of assorted junk!

It might be more realistic to focus on reduction (perhaps a percentage?) of my possessions. I could start with a room or category (clothes) and ask myself, "Do I need this?" or "When was the last time I used this?" I can certainly whittle down my stuff being stored in closets. I can keep a running tally. For example, out of 25+ chemistry themed t-shirts accumulated over 10 years (wow, that's 2.5 t-shirts per year!), I will keep only 5 of them. Or maybe 10. I'll need to brace myself for the emotional storm associated with my clutter. I'll concentrate on what I'm keeping, not what I'm giving away. I may also get a little cash out of my stuff via Craig or a garage sale. This will work. I'll think on it.

Opinions welcome!

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at an Elingsh uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht frist and lsat ltteer is at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae we do not raed ervey lteter by itslef but the wrod as a wlohe.

Yoinked from southernpm

How to abandon your God...

by Mark Morford
San Francisco Chronicle

( Institutionalized Religion is Full of Fail )

original link: http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/gate/a/2008/03/05/notes030508.DTL

from daily_zen

There is no help in changing
Your environment.
The obstacle is the mind,
Which must be overcome,
Whether at home or in the forest.
If you can do it in the forest,
Why not in the home?
Therefore, why change the environment?

- Ramana Maharshi

I've revised some of my dreams that I wrote down in 2007. The most important one is when I purchase land, it may be a smaller parcel (around 5 acres) near or adjacent to protected land like a park, preserve, or some other state owned land rather than 20-100+ acres. I'm really thinking weekend retreat but the cost of two mortgages just doesn't sit right so I am looking for land within 60 minutes of the city and it can be smaller but near the "wilderness." Then I can build and relocate and commute. Or at least that is my thought. I get all jumbled up inside when I try to think about the lifestyle I want and the things I want to do and whether I want to live outside the city or whether I want a big garden or whether I want to live "completely" green. How simple or primitive do I want to go? If I use modern technology to build my house, does that make it less environmentally friendly? Will the cost of the house (both money & impact) negate the savings? I have to have some technology and that requires power. Wind/Solar no problem but what about the cost to produce the equipment? Things are not simple. I read a friend's blog about their relocation and move and I love the adventures of stone circle sanctuary in California. A lot of people dream about an intentional community but when humans are involved all sorts of unintended consequences happen. I love my job, and it's an essential part of me and my purpose on this earth so I'm not retiring from the world and living as a buddhist monk or up in the back woods, living off the land. Part of me wants the independence that comes from getting off the grid and living a more sustainable lifestyle. Part of me wants to reduce my impact on the environment. I want a healthy sustainable lifestyle. I have a good life right now. The actions I take are well thought out and the best possible choice I can make at the moment. Unsatisfied. Not enough effort. Why do I want more? More. More! Isn't that all too human? Wanting what we don't have as if this perfect moment just isn't enough. Not satisified with this earthly existence? Never fear, the afterlife awaits you - an eternity of perfect, unaware bliss. It has to be unaware, don't you see? If you were aware of the bliss, you'd be unhappy and dis-satisfied and want MORE! I don't think God can satisfy anyone. Buddhahood is something to pursue not obtain. Because what is next after nirvana? What is next?

I will be strong. I will live, love and laugh.

I spent some time last night with a couple of iraq veterans. I hadn't really been out on the town for months. My friends, M&M, convinced me after dinner to stay out a bit later and hit one of the nightclubs. The vets, K & M, were friends of M & M. They spent most of the time, after I bought them a beer, telling me how brave and courageous *the other one* was during their time. I admit I was a bit surpised that they were so well mannered even though the beer was flowing freely. Perhaps they sensed that I wasn't on the make or maybe they considered me their big sister. K & M are in their early 30's. Or maybe they enjoyed a sedate inquiry as opposed to the normal 20-something giggle machines that were women in this place. I must admit I enjoyed the energy of the place. I did some people watching from my comfortable corner in the bar. K & M would circle the place, chat up some women, and then for no discernible reason to me, move on. They always came back to me - perhaps I was their anchor or safe harbor or a convenient port. ?Quien sabe? They were quite attentive, though, and that made me feel good. M & M were busy on the dance floor. The conversation with K was incredible in 5-10 minute increments. I got home around 1:30 am.

I'm headed to the gym for a much a needed workout. I have a pot roast on the stove for supper tonight.

All you need is rampant chaos and a dream...

hauntingly realistic tale
through uneasy sense of self
with detached curiosity

wild and passionate uproar
so remote from the new age
in terrible clarity

primitive savagery
stamped with disapproval
taught to be ashamed

hiding ourselves away
from the source of vitality
with fooolish helplessness

self-justifying excuses
for unresolved emotional issues
without acknowledging direct responsibility


inspired by joseph conrad

wrong reflection
the world passes before our eyes
you say something
trying to stay alive
I'm too busy to listen.

burst of pure pleasure
prolongs the near-love experience
loss of control
excitation or sedation
I can't tell anymore.

craving drug of choice
will my new, improved brain remember
direct or indirect pleasure
or is it pain
I always forget.

insidious perception
love, loyalty, security
time proceeds slowly
passive pleasure
I can promise you.

hoping or complaining
rather talk than take action
least effective behavior
arbitrary movement
I'm trapped.

who would guess
hard to sleep and harder to stay awake
energized performance
counseling chemical relief
I dream anyway.

exploring internal boundaries
through external philosophy
between rationality and pride
we choose the latter
equally poor
at choosing alternate possibilities
symbolically desiring one parent
while rejecting the other
two halves of a whole
our experience
charting mental routes
consciously or unconsciously
constructing emotional shortcuts
perfectly logical and erroneous
excessive disorders
delicate and compelling